My Mount Moriah Moment, Part II

Late into the summer of 2005, I endured a “crisis of future” that amounted to an intense afternoon of soul-searching and life evaluation that in years hence I’ve come to call my “Mount Moriah Moment”.  This is it’s story…

As I sat on that rock almost a decade ago, with fear and doubt crashing against me like the waves that I was gazing at, something inside said “let it go”*.  “What?”, I thought, “let what go?”  The voice got louder: “Let the dream go; let Washington go.”.  “What? NO!  I can’t do that, it’s been the catalyst for my entire college experience, it’s propelled me for the last decade of my life!”  The voice grew quiet for a moment…then came again, the angle different, from the side, like a raptor: “What matters more, the dream or the One who gave it to you?”  I grew uneasy, afraid of where this might go, cognizant that all good stories go to the places we’d rather they not.  I protested: “Why would I have to give it up?  I’ve already spent four summer in college in places OTHER than Washington, are you telling me that I’d have to sideline it again?!”  My attention turned to the books in front of me, filled with wisdom and accounts from times far removed from me.  My eyes went back and both between them, functioning as apt symbols of the internal struggle between what I wanted and Who was asking something else of me.

Now I was the one silent as the voice spoke again: “If I tell you to wait again, can you do that, are you willing?  Do you love Me enough to trust Me to do My best with the dream I gave you?”  I suddenly had an idea of what Peter must have felt like that early morning that he went out fishing after Christ’s resurrection and I couldn’t escape the irony that I was sitting on a beach.  I wanted to say no, I wanted to resist; this was mine, my own…my precious dream to do something with my life in the midst of a anti-life culture that said I couldn’t, that I shouldn’t be here.  The question came again, and again. The more the question was asked, the more my grip loosened on the star-system that was my dream.  The shields were failing, the red-alert warning klaxons blaring.  The dam burst and the tears came; it was as if the Father had told the Spirit to sweep the leg.  I relented, and let go; I didn’t have much left to prop me up.  As I knelt over that rock, tears streaming down my face and the crashing waves in view along the expansive shore, I gave up the dream.  I didn’t give up on it, but rather turned control of it over to the Dreamgiver, the one who put it in me through two junior high friends a decade hence.  The thing I wanted more than anything in life I turned over to Jesus because it had become too much mine.  In those moments I decided that if “now” was not the time to go to Washington, I’d be “ok”; another avenue would present it self, eventually. Maybe not today, tomorrow or a week from that day, but someday.  In those moments I began to comprehend in a small way what Abraham must have felt as he prepared to let Isaac go, in his obedience believing on the covenant God had made with him to make his descendants numerous (again, the irony of kneeling on a beach) yet willing to give that up.  Yet, in the midst of that internal struggle, God provided an alternative, a solution.

As I moved to sit on that rock, granules of sand cliff-jumping off my knees to join the welcoming multitude below, and stared out at the watery horizon I imagined the unknown playing out before me like the final scene of Terminator 2 with the Terminator theme echoing in the background.  The unknown future rolled toward me and I faced it, for the first time in a long while, with a sense of hope, supported by the aspects of God’s character highlighted in Abraham’s life and wrapped in the irony of where this was all happening to me: a beach that became my mountain. Nevertheless, I had no idea what was coming next…

Stay tuned for the euchtastrophe!**

*No, for all who might mistake this as a reference to Frozen, I’ve not seen it.

**This is a term coined by famed fantasy writer J.R.R. Tolkien to describe a sudden turn of events that avoids the protagonist an impeding doom

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About Aaron

Author, Speaker, and Super Nerd. Aaron Welty speaks and writes regularly connecting the dots of life, faith, and science fiction. Originally from Michigan, he now lives and works in the Washington, D.C. Metro area.

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